I stopped my way ....

Finally the debate journey stopped, during the journey i found out that are many difficulty during the journey.But i get what i want in this journey that is enough already.1 sad thing is i cant continue it....quite sad, but every thing have the caused-effect relationship.1 thing for me is that i finally realise how stupid,mini and weak is me.....May be there are really the hard work i pay is no enough....i sux and really i lose no only to enemy but myself too...

Haha...today i deleted my game -dota already...haha...tis is the only one i paid most of my hard work n energy to it...but i still remain noob..quite sad rite??? haha...i also realise i am noob ....
But now i put my attention to study or do other hobits...izzit gonna be late???

Why till now...many thing i cant change...

I dun wan to blame other thing liao.....blame on me also no use..i havent change till some thing that happened before....
If no talent ...why i no go train..if no genius brain why i no go study hard..

May be the GOD saying the right thing to me...
If now i no study hard and harder....i wont broke my fate!!!

Juz i dun wan my fate become so so so normal again ...juz a bit and a bit more excited for me please!!! i wan become a successful person because i put my hard work to do it...no because of genius and the ability given by GOD.....
I want take back what i ord lose to u ...........
YOU the only one i care.....i will fight and love u !!!!

KIM - the lose person been found in a forest...
1 more chance - i tried my best best to fight every thing in my life to impress YOU...
If need die,i also wan to take a last shoot to shoot u ....

Finally i realise the truth...

This month is the month full with assignment and test.When those thing come,i becoming lazy and more lazy...although i am lazy but i still finish the task given to me.Just i know i no trying the best of me to do the thing.i always horse horse tiget tiger doing thing.None of the thing i paid full attention and hard work to it.Edmond told me,Are u gonna juz be a normal people in ur life?My answer is yes,but finally i realise is no i wan to become a normal people,just i dun have the hard work to do anithing in my life and the most important thing is i dun have the ability to do that.
Long time ago,some people said me is a quite intelligence person.haha,quite happy with that.But the time pass,i too depend to the inteligence i had b4.the intelligence become outdated and my knowledge becoming more narrow.Finally i realise i many thing i dunno.And many thing i dunno how to solve,people ask me how this thing to be done ,i cant answer at all.No i becoming more stupid.Just the people around me becoming more hardworking.Haha,i only pay 5 mins hardwork when i see my sux final gpa out....That time i swear i will paid hard work in next sem! But the bad habit come again...My future is blur...no organise ability,no strong stand in personal opinion,what ppl said i follow...juz i dun wan use my brain to think,sked wrong desicion making..
But 1 thing i quite lucky is ...get many good best friend in MMU...everytime got thing juz refer to them...sked ler,1 day they al gone ..i got thing wan ask who lol..
I very very hate myself....sad with my behavior...
Juz around tis 2 week .....i join debate competition..i very very sux in that...dunno i sked what,i less the courage to speak out liao.....presentation of me sux...BOB presentation sux!!
I too wonder what ppl speak about me...that make me more and more sked and more bbravery to present myself....

HATE HATE HATE!!!

人生方向

哎。。
什么是人生方向？
从我进mmu，我不停的问我自己？为什么我要听人的话？
难道我不能有我自己的想法吗。
(P.S. typing chinese very very tired la.)
Finally i realise,i seldom do i like to do or i do whatever people said good.
But now i am a very very lazy person,Scared doing wrong thing.May be last time i do no enough good,and i do not feel success.At secondardy school,i spend 5 years joining the society.Finally,i bcecome president.But i failed to become a good president,cant even do success in a single big event.may be i have think why i now scared become a leader.(haha...no chance to be leader in mmu bcoz got GOD = 4 flat student friends suppport behind me.)i scared people put all hope in me,but i failed them.i feeling sad too when i failed....VEry very sad until now.ALways think about why i cant did well at that event why i making the society worst.3 year liao lo....May be i dont have that fate to be succes...
Here really a good to express my feeling...
Only sadness will force me go a deep hell without re-life...
When get back my confidence?

Thanks to my gf!
always hold me while i droping...
cheer me up

Hope you get well soon ......good night..